SHOWING HOSPITALITY

Alone

One of the positive issues our family discussed when entertaining a transfer to a different state was being more sympathetic to interfacing with strangers that move into our lives.  We had not left our birth state until that time and such a life changing event is always challenging.  We also discussed that such a move could be very adventurous in exploring a completely new country and meeting new people.  That can certainly be new paths in life and it can also be somewhat daunting.

I was reminded of this commitment last Sunday at our church service which meets in the Fellowship Hall featuring tables that seat eight people.  That arrangement can be more conducive to socializing with those you know, but also intimidating for strangers, compared to rows of chairs or pews.  I was having a congenial conversation just as the service started and didn’t notice a senior woman slipping into the service. 

When I turned my attention to the front, I noticed this stranger sitting alone at the next table.  I could only imagine how uncomfortable she must have been so obviously apart from others at the front of the room.  At that point, I believe that I was getting more anxious for her than she may have been about herself.  We took a break to pass the peace to those around us and thankfully others joined me in welcoming the woman.  She seemed very pleasant.  When we’re in the presence of a group of strangers, I think most of us would simply prefer to blend in at the beginning.  But we don’t want someone to feel isolated.

During the service I couldn’t help but wonder if I should have invited her to join our table, but she had elected to choose one that was available.  And that would have been disruptive during the service.  And there’s a fine line between being overzealous and ignoring someone.  However, after the service I made a point of welcoming her again and wished her a good week.  Thinking back to our first visits to area churches, there were some that never acknowledged our presence and there was the one we joined that followed up to welcome us.  That was twenty-five years ago. 

 

JUST ONE

Solitude, Wrightsville Beach, NC

The majority of the time I approach a restaurant hostess by myself, the Pavlov response is generally “Just One?” As a single senior and when I was traveling alone on business, I have always found this to be “unwelcoming”. On occasion, my response has been “no, not just one, me!” They never have a response for that and they never consider why it’s just one today. But yesterday, I finally encountered the ultimate response at a restaurant tucked away in the Blue Ridge Mountains. As I approached the hostess with a request for a table for one, her immediate response was “Oh, then you’ll be in good company”. I left a very nice tip. Today I walked into a local restaurant for lunch and before I could even speak the host asked, “Just one?”

Ironically, we were discussing church hospitality that same evening at a visioning meeting. Progressive congregations are now placing greeters in the parking lots to assist folks in locating parking spaces and provide directions to the correct locations at the church. Members are greeting people as they approach every open door of the facility and making them feel welcome. This is all well and good provided these folks have some training and sensitivity. It was noted that a friend had recently lost her husband to a terminal disease. The experience had prompted her to visit a local church in search of a sanctuary on a very bleak early winter’s day. When she approached the main doors a greeter observed that she was by herself. Attempting to initiate some small talk, he asked her if the family had let her come to church alone this morning. She was so caught off guard that she simply turned away, walked back to her car and probably never returned.

It’s been said that you should never make any presumptions about people because you never know what their journey is all about. And everyone almost always has something going on in their life which a little sensitivity could help to soothe and resolve.