When we’re living in the prime of our lives, it’s quite
likely we’re also wearing many hats that we self-identify with as we attempt to
juggle multiple responsibilities—and identities. If we’re lucky, we will actually have the
good fortune to experience most of the significant life changes that come with
a full life, e.g., I learned early on to see retirement as a life change from
success to significance and reset my life course to embrace it. We choose many of our life changes and identities
and others are thrust upon us. I now
identify as a cancer survivor, not by choice, but circumstance.
I recently watched a short video discussing major life
changes that confirmed they don’t just change circumstances but also our identity
as well. And the new version of you hasn’t
arrived yet which can take some serious adjustments of self. A good question to ask is “Who am I now learning
to become?” and embrace it. That’s the
hardest part. Who is this new person I
have become that now others, especially new acquaintances, see me in the world
at that time in my life? This may be an
easier adjustment for those I just met versus folks I have known all of
my life.
And just to keep life interesting, I've migrated from the vast Inland Ocean of Kansas to North Carolina's Atlantic Ocean.
“Treatment is not a straight line.” —Dr Dorsey
“Life is not linear, it’s
organic. We create our lives symbiotically as we explore our talents
in relation to the circumstances they helped to create for us.” –Ted Talk,
Sir Ken Robinson
As I was finishing the second three-week
treatment schedule towards cancer remission, the access port for the chemo
which was imbedded in my right chest became infected. My care team determined that it needed to be
removed and treated immediately before the infection spread to my blood
stream. An arm PICC was also installed
in my left arm muscle to facilitate the remaining four treatments in the four-month
fight.
Afterwards, the lead oncologist in my
care team noted that “the path to treatment is not a straight line.” My reply was that “Actually, in the greater
scheme of things, life isn’t a straight line either. We always encounter detours and dead ends!” Now that the treatments successfully eliminated
the cancer cells, I’ve had more time to reflect and realize that much has been
written and studied about the options of taking a straight versus organic path
in life.
I’ve learned that a “straight" life
path
is a structured, linear, and goal-oriented trajectory, while an "organic"
life path embraces nonlinearity, curiosity, and adaptability. It allows for
pivots, detours, and personal evolution based on what feels authentic rather
than a predetermined plan. This approach treats life less like a ladder to climb and
more like a garden to tend. It embraces detours, failures, and reinvention.
“Most people find themselves living a
blend of both—starting with structured foundations and naturally branching into
more organic, intuitive directions as they grow older.” There’s a lot to be said for walking a
traditional labyrinth. Through viewing
life as a labyrinth, we integrate the cyclical nature of turning outwards and
turning inwards as we move closer to the Heart which is the hub of the
authentic life.
Pastor Wendy
called me for a “wellness check” when I was halfway through the six, three-week
treatments that began just before Christmas last year. I just finished the sixth treatment last week
and my care team is optimistic. She
asked me if there was anything I had been able to draw from my faith?
There were three
salient drivers that sustained me throughout my treatment to eliminate
Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma cancer for the last four months that I’d like to share; 1)
an attitude for prayer, 2) living one day at a time and 3) the firm belief of
never being alone on the journey.
First, in
the Lord's Prayer, the
phrase "thy will be done" is a petition for
God's purposes to be fully realized on earth just as they are in heaven.
It is an act of humility
where the person praying submits their own desires to God's plan, acknowledging
that His wisdom is superior. This is often modeled after Jesus' prayer in
Gethsemane. “He said, Father if it’s
your will, take this cup of suffering away from me. However, not my will but your will must be
done.” –Luke 22:40-42
When looking for comfort, this phrase allows for trusting God with outcomes, rather than desperately trying to control them.
We understand that God is
timeless. He’s aware of the past,
present and future.
Knowing the past and understanding the future may influence His will for us.
Secondly,
from scripture:
“Be strong and
courageous. Do not be afraid. Do
not be discouraged.
For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” —JOSHUA 1:9
My oncologist was being honest when he said, “The longest path in
treatment is rarely a straight line.”
And of course, that applies to life in general. God walks with us on those paths and
sometimes even carries us on those treacherous detours!
At Bethlehem, He was “God
WITH us.” At calvary, He was “God
FOR us.”
And, At Pentecost, He became “God IN us.” Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Jesus gives us the Great Commission at the very end
of Matthew’s gospel, so others in our community can benefit; “Therefore go
and make disciples of all nations…And surely I am with you always, to the very
end of the age.”
And third, I had to repeatedly remind
myself many times a day to;
“Live one day at a time” and “Don’t get ahead
of your skis!”
My sister overcame breast cancer and counseled me to get
the facts which are always more sensible than our human imaginations.
In Matthew 6:34, Jesus teaches us to live in the present and avoid anxiety
about the future. He urges us to focus
on the current day's responsibilities and trust, rather than being overwhelmed
by what may happen later.
Ultimately, this teaching is a call to choose
peace over worry and to live in the assurance that God is already in the
future providing for His kingdom.
Worry
is a conversation you have with yourself about the things you
cannot change.
Prayer is a conversation you have with God about the things He can change.
Finally, I came across these short thoughts from
Ullie-Kaye:
“Nothing teaches you gratitude, like having walked
through something hard—
Knowing that at any given time, your whole world
could come crashing down and change again.
I am thankful for a past that couldn’t destroy me.
A present that still looks for miracles and a future that is
secure,
Not because I’m holding it all together. but because God
is!”
To begin, we
must be open to recognizing “a God moment”, kairos, or
we will never realize it happened. Some are
noted immediately and others later upon reflecting back on a situation, where
one sensed that God’s ever presence and intervention revealed his influence in
our daily lives that defies mere coincidence.
·
My immediate family transferred from North
Carolina to Chicago on an opportunity and resided there for over fifteen years. About two
years ago they received another opportunity to transfer back within about an
hour’s drive away. I recently
received a treatable cancer diagnosis and now treasure their close assistance.
·
I recently began cancer chemo treatments after
having a port implanted in my chest to facilitate the infusions. On the post
infusion day of a scheduled shot to facilitate the chemo, the port started to
bleed due to an unexpected infection. Fortunately,
my oncology team was immediately available to evaluate and
prescribed antibiotics to mediate the problem.
· While consulting in Mexico, I was staying in McAllen, Texas and had parked my rental car in the corner of a crowded lot at Barnes and Noble at twilight. As I returned after nightfall and entered the car, something prompted me to glance back and see a hand hit my door handle. I instinctively hit the door lock and I’m convinced that stopped what could have been a life-threatening situation.
·
Going back further in time, I still vividly
remember my last duck hunt on a vast reservoir in central Kansas where a winter
clipper storm caught us by surprise in a floating blind on the north shore. We
immediately gathered our decoys and started zig zagging to the boat
ramp against a strong wind and freezing rain
until our motor hit bottom and broke the propeller shear pin! As we were
being forced out into the white waters, our motor operator suddenly noticed a
spare shear pin he had taped to the bottom of the motor months ago, which was
installed by frozen fingers just in time to save us from being overturned in
the deep icy waters.
