ONE MORE DAY

 

Soulmates, Jamestown, NC

Valentine’s Day 2022

“Tomorrow we'll discover,
What our God in Heaven has in store,
One more dawn,
One more day,
One day more.”--Les Misérables

 Les Misérables was my favorite Broadway musical until Hamilton was experienced in Chicago and both are emotional roller coasters.  These final lyrics from One Day More include the newfound lovers, Marius and Cosette, as they face the prospect of never seeing one another again. 

 But the reality for a legion of beings is that there will never be even the possibility of one more day as our common legacy will separate one of us from this mortal life.  That shouldn’t deter anybody from committing to a lifelong relationship or dwell on ultimately being separated.  But it is a sobering reminder to make the moments count.  And if we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves. 

The Nashville Sound with Jason Isbell recorded a reflective track titled If We Were Vampires that poignantly illustrates:

 "If we were vampires and death was a joke,

I wouldn’t feel the need to hold your hand…

Maybe time running out is a gift.

I'll give every second I can find."

"It's knowing that this can't go on forever.

Likely one of us will have to spend some days alone.”

I’ve had previous conversations with friends and couples about the elephant in the room when they come to realize later in life that barring a tragic accident, one of the two of them will someday be left to carry on without the other.  That realization can take the sting out of any petty offense or argument that is presently irritating them. 

We’re making memories every day of our lives in this world whether we’re conscious of it or not. And I guess we are seldom aware that these present moments may just be the ones we later cherish the most. So, make the most of your present moments together with those you love and the memory of these days will bring you much comfort and peace in the sunset of your life, especially when you experience a similar Deja vu time and place.

To the Daylily, one day is a lifetime. And we human beings get lots of days of our lives to cherish, but many of them go unnoticed and unappreciated because we're always expecting just one more.

One day there won’t be one day more.  Give every second you can find.

LINT FILTERS AND RELATIONSHIPS

CLEAN BEFORE EACH LOAD, Jamestown, NC

Valentine’s Day 2014

A Facebook friend recently shared a thought by Chip Ingram that caught my attention. It simply stated that “A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other”. That’s a good thing to consider for anybody in a committed relationship on this Valentine’s week 2014. Perhaps it made more of an impact this morning as I finished the laundry and removed trapped cotton fibers from the dryer’s lint filter. It’s always wise to check the filter in case it’s completely jammed with anything that circulates out of the dryer as the clothes are readied for another fresh day.

So what in the world does a lint filter have to do with a perfect relationship? Well, as imperfect humans, we all need to come to grips with the concept that perfection is difficult to achieve. My wife Karen had developed a minor sinus irritation. As a consequence, she was always in possession of a tissue. And those tissues generally ended up in any possible pocket of her wardrobe. We both worked, so it was reasonable for both of us to share household duties and the weekend laundry fell on my side of the ledger. Needless to say, some of those ubiquitous tissues ended up in the laundry almost every week and I was always fishing their scattered remains out of the lint filter. Then I would complain and we’d exchange a few barbs back and forth in our weekly recycled tissue ritual. It was never a big deal but always a small irritation.

Then Karen was diagnosed with breast cancer. The next time I discovered a full lint filter, I was reminded that it was small stuff indeed and a blessing to validate her presence. And I never mentioned it again. That was a period of total appreciation for each other. Now whenever I clean the lint filter, I’m reminded of her memory and the day I resolved to filter out the small stuff and accept the imperfections in our relationship. The lint filter in my dryer is embossed with the instruction to “clean before each load”. That’s a good reminder to filter out all the small stuff in our head before each interaction. One of the biggest mistakes a couple can make is to commit to a relationship with the intent of changing the other person. And it always seems to be the small stuff that distracts us from the important stuff which can eventually destroy the relationship if not resolved—it’s much better to accept our little imperfections and refuse to give up on each other.