YOU MISSED MY WRY SMILE

Hocus Pocus Face Mask

 

FACIAL COMMUNICATION

This COVID pandemic has created many changes in our world culture, not the least of which is the loss of facial communication when many of us use social media on-line at home and face masks when we venture out.  The human face is very expressive and conveys emotions without us uttering a word.  Research has shown that as we interact, just 7% of meaning is conveyed by words, 38% is the way the words are spoken and a surprising 55% is revealed in our facial expressions!  And our human facial expressions cross all cultures.

It’s been said that the eyes are the window to the soul.  A person’s eyes can reveal wide-open surprise or squinting anger along with our eyebrows.  A fake smile only creates wrinkles at the corner of the mouth.  A genuine smile also creates wrinkles at the corner of the eye.  A genuine smile is one of the key indicators of physical attraction.  So, beware of a romantic attraction during this masking phase of our lives!  And if any of the following three reactions is missing, a person is only simulating emotion; the eyes are wet, the nose gets moist and saliva is swallowed.  If the facial expression does not look symmetrical, the person is not being truthful.     

All of these indicators plus many more are lost in social communication and when the other person is wearing a variety of face coverings which is not the norm, except during this pandemic.  I confess to probably using satire in my conversations all too often which will sometimes confuse someone face-to-face if they take me too seriously or don’t know me very well.  I’m pretty sure that I usually have an asymmetrical wry smile on my face if I’m using satire to make a point.  And that is totally lost during social media interactions or when I’m masked up.  I wonder how long it will take all of us to return to normal interactions when all of these restrictions on us are finally rescinded—after we repair the collateral damage done to many of our relationships?

I can confirm that miscommunication based on my personal experience when I’m checking out of a grocery line.  Some grocers still require mask wearing inside if you want to shop there.  Many times, a checker has apparently been trained to ask “Did you find everything you were looking for today?”  My response is generally “most of the stuff I’m buying today wasn’t even on my radar when I entered the store.”  Or if my foraging goal for the day was a six pack, cheese, crackers and summer sausage, my go-to response is “Just buying the basics today!”

THE TELEPHONE BOOTH

British Red Box, Internet Domain 

Every now and then I run across an article or experience something or hear a message that resonates with me.  I frequently listen to NPR radio in the morning as it wakes me from a night’s slumber.  I consider this such a better way to start the day versus the jarring alarm I used in the past.  I recently awoke to one of their reporters that had come across a story from the area in Japan that experienced the devastating tsunami five years ago.

The narrator told of a man who longed for the conversations he had experienced with a close cousin that had been lost in the tragedy.  Later the man had the idea to place an antique telephone booth at the edge of his property near the sea to seclude himself in quiet conversation with his cousin.  The telephone booth provided protection from the coastal winds and the disconnected receiver became a familiar invitation to talk candidly.

Once word spread that this sanctuary had such a cathartic effect on the man, others who had lost loved ones in the tsunami approached the booth when it was not occupied.  Another family had lost their loved one who was a husband, father and friend that had been driving his truck near the tsunami’s landfall when it struck with such tremendous force.  His body was never recovered and there was no closure for those who knew him.  They entered the booth and finally resolved their repressed feelings after a long five years in silent mourning. There is no communication line connected to the booth but these people were connected nonetheless.

That coastal phone booth is a wonderful metaphor to consider when we read Psalm 46:10 where God implores us to “be still and know that I am God.”  Our creator communes with us provided we come to him and are in a quiet, open frame of mind to listen.  He speaks in a variety of ways including on those ocean breezes and the never-ending heartbeat of the waves.  And we have been assured that he is always with us to hear our conversations.

“Listen to the wind, it talks.

Listen to the silence, it speaks.

Listen to your heart, it knows.”

--Native American Proverb

BEGINNING A CONVERSATION

Spirit Feather, Jamestown, NC

Memorial Weekend, 2014

This small feather slowly drifted in the morning sunlight recently as I sat on a bench in my backyard. It glided to a peaceful rest at my feet and I rather unconsciously picked it up. It certainly wasn’t a gaudy loud object demanding my attention, but nevertheless it did fully capture my imagination. I’ve kept it at my work station ever since as a gentle reminder of the spiritual presence that we coexist with every day. There are folks out there who say that God actually speaks to them at times. I wouldn’t dispute that, but I’m not certain that I’ve ever actually engaged in an active two way conversation myself. However, I am certain that there are many ways to commune with our God. The Psalmist instructs us to be still for openers. It’s difficult to converse with anyone in the midst of our busy and noisy world today. And it’s equally difficult to communicate with someone until you have their undivided attention.

I would venture that we’ve all been in a circumstance at some time where an enlightened sixth sense captured our complete attention. I’ve always been drawn to the opening scene of the Forrest Gump movie where a feather is lightly floating in the air around Forrest in a provocative way that gives it ethereal life. I suppose that’s easier to pull off in the movies with today’s animation, but I’ve witnessed it in real life too. It’s not common for us to see a white feather or a single crimson leaf lightly gliding along in the breeze and gently landing at our feet. Especially when it curiously seems to possess something more than you would expect from an inanimate object. And then there’s the butterfly in the middle of the day or a firefly at night landing on our arm while we’ve paused life in a park or our backyard. These are very animated and real creatures that again seem to possess some mysterious attribute that only our sixth sense can discern. People throughout the ages have considered these events as signs of loved ones letting us know that all is well on the other side. The flight of feathers, fireflies and butterflies personify spiritual beings. Since we can’t always be sure of the source, perhaps it is our Heavenly Father who is assuring us that He is ultimately in control on both sides of the thin veil.

There are other events that capture our attention as well such as a colorful rainbow after a storm, brilliant new creations of sunrise beginnings, peaceful sundown reminders of rest, a warm snow melt after a long winter, the sun’s diagonal rays breaking through scattered dark clouds, a refreshing morning shower in the midst of a drought, the wind gently moving and singing through pine needles, and of course, created new life revealed through children and grandchildren, puppies, foals, and flower blossoms.

These symbols of hope are signs of God’s presence and reminders that our Creator is beginning a conversation with us. And they prompt us to consciously pause life to begin relational communication that can sustain and nurture us as we continue our journey.