Now that the
Coronavirus self-isolating routine has grimly settled into the heat and
humidity of the long hot summer of 2020, the promise of a viable vaccine in
record time by year’s end is a small distant thread to hold onto. The Quentin Quarantino Lockdown Blues is
comfortably settling into most living rooms around the world but we will
persevere with the assist of all those creative folks out there with a sense of
humor. One sage wrote that “we can all
agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer to ‘where do you see
yourself 5 years from now.’”
A quick check of
all the social media outlets where we now have time to burn reveals lots of quirky
material. Unfortunately, some have discovered
that years like 2020 last for an entire year!
This has prompted many city dwellers to throw open their windows and
shout “I’m tired of 2020 and I won’t take it anymore!” A quick check of video clips from the 1976
movie “Network” has a Deja vu fact check that the world hasn’t improved much
since then. Peter Finch’s character, a
veteran news anchorman who discovers that he’s losing his job, goes off with “We know things are bad - worse than bad,
They're crazy! It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go
out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is
getting smaller, and all we say is, 'Please, at least leave us alone in our
living rooms.’”
As the boredom
sets in, it has been observed that many children are named after places where
conception occurred with names like Paris, etc., so we can now expect a lot of
babies soon with names like Quarantine, etc.
Another deep thinker has raised a very pertinent question, asking “Has
anybody let the Amish know what’s going on?”
And someone else pleads to “whoever started your game of Jumanji in
January please finish it ASAP!”
Bored
homebodies are starting to alphabetize their medicine cabinets. A frequent flyer road warrior who is missing
the airport destination codes like LAX and ORD has devised codes for our
current travels like LVG, BTH, and MBR for living room, bath room and master
bed room. One meticulous housewife
detailed a seven-day menu of “steak, burgers, spaghetti, Ramen, creamed corn,
road kill squirrels, and dried grass with clover salad.”
And folks are
getting just more than a little irritated with celebrities being tested
without even having symptoms while most are told to stay home and wash their
hands all day. We’re advised that the
best way to get tested is to cough near a celebrity and wait. While we’re on the subject, everyone is just
about up to here with these millionaires living in West Coast McMansions singing
“Imagine” on social media and lamenting that “we’re all in this together”. If
this quarantine is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do in life, you haven’t
had a very hard life.
Finally,
there’s an account of a nurse trying to comfort a man who’s coming out of a six-month
coma as he slowly says, “Man, I can’t wait to go to a baseball game!” Given the current dearth of sports on TV this
weekend, I’ll be watching the World Origami Championships on Paperview.
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