EMPATHY

Ready to cross the street, Chicago, IL.

I just finished a short article written by Alyssa Campbell who works in early childhood education and emotional development.  She makes the point that “key components of emotionally intelligent kids include self-awareness, self-regulation and motivation.  But surprisingly, the most overlooked one is empathy…We teach emotional intelligence by responding to children with empathy.”   

That reading prompted me to recall a very short but meaningful incident that occurred a few years ago as I was leaving a restaurant in Chicago with my three-year-old grandson and his parents.  As we crossed the street to our car and entered the other side, we turned and noticed the little boy’s lips were slightly quivering and a tear was streaking down his rosy cheek.  We immediately stopped in our tracks and bent down to ask why he was suddenly crying.  It was difficult for him to voice what was troubling him but he was saying something about a squirrel.  We all then remembered that we had casually passed a flat squirrel in the middle of the street, but frankly, thought nothing of it.  We’ve all seen lots of squirrels that couldn’t make a decision to run faster, so they froze and paid the ultimate price.  We adults had become desensitized to the image.  Sort of like watching war clips on the nightly news…  

Fortunately, his parents embraced his genuine empathy and his dad asked if he would feel better if he went back and moved the squirrel out of the street to the curb.  My grandson slowly shook his head affirmatively and we waited patiently while the body was removed from ongoing traffic.  Once he witnessed this his demeaner brightened and we proceeded to our car where we all shared an uplifting ride home!    

And lastly, Campbell concludes that we should all “remember to pause and say ‘I love you’.  It’s impossible to spoil kids with love.  We promise that you can never say those words too much.”

 

FAVORITE ONE LINERS

STARDUST

 I recently ran across a social media challenge to list folks’ favorite one liners from music, etc.  It seems like a rather daunting challenge, but there were actually hundreds of posts covering a variety of subjects like life, love, relationships, etc.  So, I waded through the responses and copied and added some of my favorites and then attempted to arrange them into a post:

        Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

       Today is just tomorrow's yesterday.

       You’re the master of your own destiny.

       Dream on, but don’t imagine they’ll all come true.

Life is just a candle…and the dream must give it flame.

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

We see in life what we look for.

Too many people don’t listen to understand, but to reply.

I was so much older then.  I'm younger than that now.

 Those were the days, my friend.  We thought they'd never end.

All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be...

I’m glad I’m alive at the same time as you.

Of all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you…

I gave her my heart; she wanted my soul.  Don’t think twice it’s alright.

And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.

You make me smile with my heart.

           Put your arms around my soul and take it dancing.

Couples dancing, wrapped around each other in a song.

            The future is uncertain, and the end is always near.

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Light of the world shine on me, love is the answer.

            There is a crack, a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.

The entire universe and ourselves are composed of the stardust of creation.

Everything is dust in the wind.

As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.

LATE BLOOMER

Late Blooming Camellia, Jamestown, NC

Nighttime temperatures have been in the twenties lately and the fall blooming camellias appeared to have fulfilled their destiny a few weeks ago. As I opened the blinds this morning this fresh bloom greeted me with its delicate open petals.

Later, as I ventured out into the chilly air, I noticed that it was the Lone Ranger on the entire bush beside a seasonal string of Christmas lights!

Fortunately, most of us now understand that we shouldn’t push children to keep pace with an early learner or level of maturation and we should patiently assist in their development until they finally blossom, no matter how late in the season.

 

THE SPIRIT OF GIVING

The Spirit of Giving

When you generously give the gift of giving,

And expect nothing in return,

You’re not doing business,

But spreading Christmas joy at every turn.

And when we leave this world ,

For a better home some day,

Some of the things we’ll take with us,

Are joyful memories of things we gave away.

—Inspiration from The Christmas Coat

 

SILENT SPRING

 

Northern Lights

“Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength

that will endure as long as life lasts.

There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature,

the assurance that dawn comes after night,

and spring after winter.”

—Rachel Carson, Silent Spring.

FOLLOW YOUR BLISS

TWO ROADS DIVERGING

I’ve always remembered the first and last two lines of the famous poem, 

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost:

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both…

 

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

 

The poem is all about the choices we make as we travel the road of life and the choices that shape us.  Garth Brooks has a country song about unanswered prayers and the paths that were seemingly blocked on our journey which turned out to be to our benefit. 

 

The mention of a yellow wood implies that many of our significant life decisions will have a consequential impact on our future, but faith and intuition must be our guide, as foreseeing the future is akin to peering through a dense forest darkly.  Knowing the woods have turned a yellow color implies that our sojourner has entered into a season of early autumn, symbolizing a season of maturity in life.

 

I’ve also been influenced by Joseph Campbell’s introspection in The Power of Myth where he encourages us to “Follow Your Bliss”.  His well received interview on PBS with Bill Moyers resulted in that suggestion becoming a catchphrase in our culture.  When Moyers asked Campbell if he ever had a sense of being helped by hidden hands, he had a ready reply; “If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living.  You begin to meet people in your field of bliss and they open doors to you.”

 

Jeremiah 29:11 is one of the most quoted Bible verses; “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”  The good news for those who aren’t interested is that we have also been given free will to do as we please and the chips will fall as they may. 

 

The “Reason for the Season” we will soon be celebrating is part of that plan.  Our Creator’s free gift of grace has provided a plan for us both in this life and also the next!  

 

BLACK CROW HAIKU

BLACK CROW SOUNDING THE ALARM

Late November days,

Black crows alert all nature,

A chilling rain falls.

 

Spindly forest trees,

Stripped of colorful vestments,

Stand alone and weep.

 

A north wind arrives,

Transitioning the seasons,

As rain turns to ice.

 

 

REFLECTING BACK

REFLECTING BACK

Surviving life to reach senior status has its negative issues with a body that has been in decline ever since it stopped growing years ago.  But I’ve finally realized that I’m not a body with a soul, rather I’m a soul which happens to temporarily occupy a body.  In the end, consciousness rejoins consciousness in a much more vast and very different environment.  And once the pinnacle has been conquered it’s an interesting exercise to pause life and reflect on the milestones where significant events changed the trajectory of a life well lived.  These milestones are much more relevant than the birthdays we acknowledge which are really just an accounting of the number of times we beings on this planet have circled the sun.  Thanks to modern medicine and the miracle of mortal bodies that can heal themselves, God is revealed in our existence.  And we’re not left with imperfect scars, just character lines.

 

As I started writing and reflecting back on my life, it became apparent that the basic ten major milestones which I documented in my life took too much space and time for a blog post, so I’ll just recommend it to others reading this blog and see how many you can detail.    

 

The fact that I was born into a close family whose members had immigrated to America in recent history is beyond huge.  The love and closeness of those wonderful people who influenced my youth are immeasurable. 

 

My life after work life has now been partially devoted to volunteer work, exploiting the management tools which were attained for such a time as this.  The game of golf has led me to innumerable relationships and saved thousands of dollars on counseling and medical appointments.  The family life, work experiences, travel all over this country and abroad, and living in multiple locations has enabled me to meet and know hundreds of people in my lifetime.  I can’t stay in touch with all of them and I know they have their own immediate lives to attend to.  But the memories of many whose names may have slipped away still remains as I reflect back on many adventurous occasions and many battle scars.   

RESPONSIBLE DECONGESTING

 

ZYRTEC, Jamestown, NC

It’s been said that with age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone. And with autumn comes beautiful leaves sailing on the winds, but allergies come along for the ride.

I was seeking an assist from a strong antihistamine in Public’s Pharmacy area without finding it, so I asked for help. I was reminded that it is kept behind the counter (to discourage meth labs) and I needed to produce my Drivers License to be registered in a database and pay on the spot to acquire some relief.

I produced my cards, raised my right hand and swore to “decongest responsibly”! The pharmacists on duty were listening and they all chuckled as the cashier handed me my bagged contraband with great fanfare and the admonition to “please decongest responsibly”.

—Just another day in the life of a retired senior citizen.

AWARENESS

Paradox, Blue Ridge Parkway

“All through Autumn we hear a double voice: one says everything is ripe; the other says everything is dying. The paradox is exquisite. We feel what the Japanese call ‘aware’ — an almost untranslatable word meaning something like ‘beauty tinged with sadness’” —Gretel Ehrlich, The Solace of Open Spaces

I liked the quote above and saved it for a possible blog post.  And then I happened upon a photo that was just taken on the Blue Ridge Parkway of the first snow of the season.  It visually captures both the beauty and sadness of the colorful, vibrant leaves below and the quickening demise of the trees above that are covered in frozen snow.

Much has been written about all the sensory feelings which we humans associate with the autumn season as summer days seamlessly morph into cooler nights and all nature begins the process of retreating from the hectic days of growth and reaching to the heavens.  And perhaps the most paradoxical example we all observe is the withdrawing of green chlorophyl from the surrounding forests and urban trees.  Once the true colors of their leaves that have adorned them since springtime appear, people gaze in wonder at the splendid colors that begin their swan song reveal.

Autumn beckons a bittersweet melancholy as we breath in the beauty of this colorful display, but for those who have witnessed this rodeo before, we know the sad ending of loss and decay.  Once the harsh north winds begin to sail through the countryside, the leaves are torn lose from their moorings and join in a joyful dance that has a much too short run before they begin their cycle of returning to the stardust of all creation.

We become all too aware of the sweetness of life in autumn and the shortness of time for all living organisms.  But we can take heart in observing that every living organism including ourselves gets a chance at being part of the cycle, understanding that it has both a beginning and ending before it repeats with new players.    

“An intense beauty is trembling on the edge of destruction” as golden Aspen leaves quake in the cold north wind, acquiescing to the inevitable.

THE PINOCCHIO PARADOX; “My nose grows longer now.”

 

BIRTHDAYS

BIRTHDAYS, Jamestown, NC

On the occasion of my October 15th birthday.🎉

“Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.”

—Gabriel Garcia Marquez 

The only two birthdays I’ve really acknowledged were my 16th for a driver’s license and my 47th which was my dad’s age when cancer took his life.  I considered that year the beginning of my gifted second life and I don’t count the pandemic years since I didn’t use them, so I’m really only 31!

The birthdays we acknowledge are really just an accounting of the number of times we beings on this planet have circled the sun!  I've observed folks that are old at 60 and others that are quite lucid and active at 90.  Critical life stages would seem to be better key indicators!  Examples might include born, walking upright, conversational, puberty, education, independent living, working full time, partnering, raising children, retired, physically/mentally impaired and assisted living.

Thanks to modern medicine and the miracle of mortal bodies that can heal themselves, God is revealed in our existence.  And we’re not left with imperfect scars, just character lines that validate a life fully lived. 😎

MORNING SHADOWS HAIKU

MORNING SHADOWS, Jamestown, NC

Morning sunlight casts,

Dark shadows through arched window,

As all the world mourns,

Yet another senseless war.

 

 

WHITE AUTUMN HORSES

 

WHITE AUTUMN HORSES

“And then the sun took a step back and the leaves lulled themselves to sleep, and autumn awakened." —Raquel

‘Tis the season of warm waters and overnight, still, cool air that spawns ethereal, white, spirit horses rising on the lake’s surface at sunrise.

WE HAVE TWO LIVES

 

ALONE IN A CROWD

It’s been said that we have two births in life:  the first is when we are born and the second is when we discover why.  Friedrich Nietzsche observed that “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”   Hopefully, we discover this as soon as possible because the great Chinese Philosopher Confucius wrote clear back in 550 BC that “We have two lives:  the second begins when we realize we only have one.” Joseph Campbell has written that “The problem in middle life, when the body has reached its climax of power and begins to decline, is to identify yourself, not with the body, which is falling away, but with the consciousness of which it is a vehicle.”  I’ve always likened mortal death as a final stage rocket being jettisoned as the capsule soars off into space and our consciousness rejoins the ultimate sea of consciousness.  It’s always important to focus on the understanding that we’re not a body with a soul, but rather a soul with a body!   

Growing older needn’t be a phase of surrender or depression, but one of maintaining a positive attitude.  It’s a time of growing wiser.  A time to reflect on all of life’s accumulated lessons and learning to emulate all the positive people who have crossed your path that you admired and doing the opposite of the actions of people you didn’t respect.  You become more selective in all things and realize that it’s not only permissible but necessary to say no to some of the requests for your time.  It’s a time when life slows and you can stop living stories and start writing them.  We have to wear many hats when we’re immersed in life and competing with others for a chance at the golden ring.  It’s been said that your true character, however, is revealed when you’re alone.  Aging and time in solitude gives us a chance to live who we really are as a person.

When life slows and we realize we have probably lived more days than we have left to live, we begin to relish our time and savor the days more intensely.  We become selective of our contacts and migrate to those who have been strengthened in the crucible of life and know how to touch hearts.  We soldier on to be at peace with those around us and our own consciousness, understanding that forgiveness is available to all who ask and seek to live a better life.

 “We have two lives:  the second begins when we realize we only have one.”

OBSERVING

 

OBSERVING

The ideas behind Observer are based on real science, starting with the famous two-slit experiments, in which the presence of an observer affects the path taken by a sub-atomic particle, and moves step-by-step into cutting-edge science about quantum entanglement, on-going experiments applying quantum-level physics to the macro-world, the multiverse, and the nature of time and consciousness itself.

The book recounts astounding scientific discoveries that all lead inexorably to the bizarre but reality-shaking conclusion that the basic structure of the cosmos—things like space and time and the way matter holds together—requires observers.

THE FLEETING PASSAGE OF TIME AND LIFE

WINTER BUFFALO BREATH

Kenny Chesney has a great country song titled “Don’t Blink” about the fleeting passage of time.  Of course, it does seem to fly by faster when we’re enjoying ourselves instead of going to the dentist where I’m headed shortly.  If you Google “fleeting time” you will find a plethora of quotes on the subject.  And those observations cast a wide net over time and humanity.  You have to believe that every human being that ever drew a breath on this planet has easily experienced fleeting time, especially since modern man invented the clock.  But even earlier in time man watched the years, seasons and days slip by without ceasing. 

Only our creator has been recognized as being timeless, while we mortal beings with frontal lobes understand that our beginnings have endings that arrive all too soon.  Our pets wake up each morning living constantly in the present moment without the concern for endings.  We could all take that lesson from them, understanding that life does have a stop date, but with the promise of another spiritual life.

I ran across a saying attributed to a native American, Chief Crowfoot, to illustrate the fleeting aspect of life:

“What is life?

It is the flash of a firefly in the night.

It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime.

It is the little shadow that runs across the grass,

And loses itself in the sunset.”

We need to make peace with the passing of time and embrace each waking moment we have without knowing exactly how much sand is left in the hourglass.  Using our time wisely and intentionally also includes wasting some of it to recharge and refresh.  If we can learn from the past and plan for the future, our present moments can be filled with gratitude, fearless hope, healthy relationships and new possibilities.  

 

AUTUMN EQUINOX

 

EVENING SUNSET, KIAWAH, SC

"Life is the little shadow that runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset."

--Chief Crowfoot

Next Saturday marks the Autumn Equinox for this year and the first day of fall.  That implies that both daytime and nighttime will be equal as the nights will become longer than our days.  The hot and humid days of summer are waning, abdicating to northerly breezes that are cooler and dryer, a prophetic breath of autumn.  It’s a time when the sun seamlessly retreats earlier over the horizon and autumn leaves awaken to their true colors as green chlorophyl also retreats back into mother earth’s womb.  The colorful leaves wave goodbye to summer on their journey back into the stardust of all matter.

The annual seasons move from spring to summer to fall to winter as we complete one more trip around the sun and add one more candle to our birthday cake. The temperatures can rapidly go from 90 to 55 faster than spotting a speed trap!  We’re born dependent, experience childhood, grow to independent adulthood, then ease into senior citizenship and begin to circle back. Generation follows generation, one season follows another, and the years fly swiftly by, filled with happiness and tears. Only time will tell if it was time well spent.

Perhaps at this particular time of the year, all creation serves as a reminder that this life not only has beginnings but also endings for every living organism and even every material object.  It reminds us to strive to live wisely and with a positive intention so that our lives matter and we won’t squander a priceless opportunity.  The imminent fallow time of winter on the horizon reminds us to live a life that will enable us to look back on the winter of our life and not be sad because it’s over, but to smile because it happened.

The lowering rays of the sun on the evening horizon have begun their disappearing act earlier each evening.  Relentless ocean waves continue their assault on the beaches and lengthening rays render staring westward a blinding ordeal.  Ocean breezes calm down as the night cools to sweater weather.  Warm deserts and hot coffee on the ocean pier are a welcome treat after a seafood dinner and a career afternoon out in nature on the golf course.

Dark shadows silently descend on the motionless land as gentle rain drops once again quench the thankful earth.  Another circle of life has marked the earth’s passage around the sun.  And in the midst of the peaceful calm, God whispers through the stillness, “Well done, rest and be at peace; the cycle of life circles on.”

WITNESSING A DERECHO

DERECHO, SIOUX FALLS, SD

Red sky in the morning, sailor take warning,

Green sky in the afternoon, pilgrim take cover soon!

I recently ran across a photo from South Dakota that triggered a latent memory from my childhood in Kansas.  The photo captured a rare sight that is only seen during a violent weather event which meteorologists call a derecho which means “straight ahead” in Spanish.  That’s the first and last time that I witnessed a green sky in the west and just as rare an event when the storm reached our neighborhood.

A derecho is a widespread and long-lived, fast moving, straight line, storm that can extend for more than 250 miles and include very strong, severe, damaging winds and wind gusts.  The green, apocalyptic-looking sky implies that the deep blue clouds are saturated with water and ice particles which scatter the short wavelength blue light rays.  When the longer wavelength red sunset beams of light illuminate the blue objects in the sky, it morphs to green.  It’s an indication that the ice particles have been tumbled up and back down in the turbulent clouds until the hail stones weigh enough to strike the earth’s surface.  This intense weather event can even spawn destructive tornadoes and downward microbursts.

Back in Kansas, I recall standing on the sidewalk outside our home when the approaching storm caught my attention.  I could see distant lightning flashes and the thunderous responses getting closer together as the storm gathered nearer.  And as it ominously came closer to me over the neighboring homes and elm trees, I saw the blue sky turn into that apocalyptic green as if the world was coming to an end!  I ran inside the house and called my mother to come outside and see this green mass descending upon us.

We stood together on the front porch for some sense of security and then witnessed a second anomaly that I’ve never seen since.  The skies opened with a torrential rain and large hail pummeling the land across the street, but our side of the street was spared.  Not one drop of rain or hail crossed that road and the storm passed almost as quickly as it arrived. 

Watching the skies actually turn from a bright blue to an ominous dark green probably couldn’t compare to the ancient Egyptians watching the Nile River turn from a deep blue to a blood red or the worst thunderstorm ever of hail and fire during the ten plagues.   But it left an indelible memory with an impressionable young Kansas boy that day.

BE A GOLDFISH

BE A GOLDFISH

 After a bad play, Ted Lasso reminded his players that the happiest creatures in the world are goldfish, because they can only remember things for 10 seconds.  

Tiger Woods dad, Earl, always told him to take 10 steps before doing anything else after a bad shot.  When asked to comment about a previous bad shot, 

Jack Nicklaus always responded that he didn’t remember it.  We never lose if we don’t lose the lesson and soldier on.  

Be a goldfish!

THE OBSERVER EFFECT

 

I recently read a review of a new best-selling fictional book simply titled OBSERVER.  It caught my attention because I remembered reading about a scientific experiment result in 1998 that was completely unexpected when the researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science encountered the Observer Effect.  They were conducting a double split fork experiment with electrons at the subatomic level beamed at the fork.  In short, the particles behaved like waves, but when a conscious, quantum observer was present, they behaved like particles.  The researchers were forced to conclude that the mere act of observation affected the outcome which has raised all sorts of speculation.  Robert Lanza’s new novel explores the notion that time, space and even reality all ultimately depend upon us, the observers.

Consciousness can be defined as being mindful or aware of oneself as a thinking, feeling being.  We realize with awe the miracle of a body that is informed by this extraordinary thing we call life that we take for granted almost every day.  The fateful day we realize this eternal truth is the beginning of a lifelong spiritual journey.

God is a conscious spiritual being and we are conscious mortal beings.  We were created in his image, so we can expect parallels in our existence.  His being occupies the universe like our consciousness occupies our body.  By liberating the spaces in our lives and minds that are filled with clutter and chatter, we allow the presence of God to more easily occupy that space!

If two particles are entangled and if you observe one of them, then the other is affected even if they’re far apart.  That communication is instantaneous, suggesting there is no space between them and no time influencing their behavior.  Aldous Huxley in his book, The Doors of Perception” theorizes that our brain possibly acts as a mental filter to help us survive on this planet.  We’re only capable of perceiving the material world around us versus the infinite sea of consciousness

We only consciously know the information that our five senses perceive.  However, consciousness does not simply observe the universe, we create it collectively.  Even though a table is mostly composed of empty space at the subatomic level, we collectively consider it as a solid at the macro-level.  The particles of atoms consist of a nucleus surrounded by electrons that revolve in extremely vast regions of empty space.  Man has now determined that there are no solid objects at the subatomic level.   A subatomic particle is a set of relationships that reach out and interconnect, not with objects, but with other interconnections.  Light travels in waves and as particles (photons) at the speed of light.  The photons collide with the air, in a cosmic dance of continuous creation and destruction, a ceaseless flow of energy going through a multiplicity of patterns.  The waves are abstract patterns of probabilities or relationships.   At the subatomic level there is a continual exchange of matter and energy between us and everything around us.  We're all part of one inseparable web of relationships.  

  J. P. Moreland reasons that, “Consciousness cannot be reduced merely to the physical brain.  Our consciousness came from a greater consciousness.  You see, the Christian worldview begins with thought and feeling and desire and choice.  That is, God is conscious.  God has thoughts.  He has beliefs, he has desires, he has awareness, he’s alive, he acts with a purpose.  We start there and because we start with the mind of God, we don’t have a problem explaining the origin of our mind.  …he’s invisible because that’s the way conscious beings are.  I have no inclination to doubt that this very room is teeming with the very presence of God.”

Jill Bolte Taylor writing in My Stroke of Insight perceived life through the restricted lens of only her right brain after a stroke incapacitated her left hemisphere.  She observed that her self-concept was no longer a solid with boundaries, but a fluid.  Operating without the constant "brain chatter" from her left hemisphere left her feeling one with the universe.  Mystics and serious practitioners can also reach that ultimate present moment state of nirvana. 

Taylor writes, “The innate differences we each experience...to stimulation contributes greatly to how we perceive the world…When I lost my left hemisphere and its language centers, I also lost the clock that would break my moments into consecutive brief instances.  Instead of having my moments prematurely stunted, they became open-ended, and I felt no rush to do anything. 

My entire self-concept shifted as I no longer perceived myself as a single, a solid, an entity with boundaries that separated me from the entities around me.  I understood that at the most elementary level, I am a fluid.  Of course, I am a fluid!  Everything around us, about us, among us, within us, and between us is made up of atoms and molecules vibrating in space. 

My left hemisphere had been trained to perceive myself as a solid, separate from others.  Now, released from that restrictive circuitry, my right hemisphere relished in its attachment to the eternal flow.  I was no longer isolated and alone.  My soul was as big as the universe and frolicked with glee in a boundless sea… Our right brain perceives the big picture and recognizes that everything around us, about us, among us, and within us is made up of energy particles that are woven together into a universal tapestry.  Since everything is connected, there is an intimate relationship between the atomic space around and within me, and the atomic space around and within you—regardless of where we are.

One of the many conclusions in the book refers back to the famous two-slit experiment which asks the question, “How can a particle ‘out there’ change its behavior depending on whether you watch it or not?  The answer is simple—reality is a process that involves our consciousness.”