MIDWINTER HAIKU

Bleak Midwinter, Jamestown, NC

Frosty wind did moan,
In the cold, bleak midwinter.

Earth like hardened iron,

Water like stone, snow on snow.

SHATTERING LIFE LESSONS

Shattered Glass, Greensboro, NC

“Golf is about how well you accept, respond to and score with your misses, much more than it is a game of perfect shots.”  --Dr. Bob Rotella

Over the years I’ve read a couple of the books by sports psychologist, Dr. Bob Rotella. I find that he has some pretty astute observations on the game of golf and life. I particularly like this quote because there are many things in life beyond our control except one thing—how we respond.  We fallible humanoids are anything but perfect and that understanding enables us to admit problems we have created, seek forgiveness, make things right and develop our character as we mature and move on in life.  Golf imitates life and neither are fair. Fair is where clowns, cotton candy and pig judging happen.

Passing by a shattered window a while back triggered a childhood memory of playing baseball with my dad.  He was pitching to me in our backyard and throwing some smoke to work on my developing strike out percentage.  Much to the surprise of both of us, I connected on a fast ball and sent it over our back fence and into our neighbor’s window!  I do believe my initial inclination upon hearing the shattering sound of breaking glass was to just get the heck out of there, while my dad just stood there in shocked amazement. Then he turned to me and calmly stated that we needed to walk over to the neighbors and confess. That seemed a bit too impetuous at the time, but he put his arm around my shoulder and we strode over and admitted our transgression. Then my dad offered to measure the windowpane and replace it for the neighbor.

Many years later, I was playing golf at the invitation of a corporate partner with a group at Pinehurst.  I was riding with a former associate that could hit the golf ball a country mile.  He wasn’t on the tour, however, as many of his drives sailed out of control.  As he teed off on a long par 5, we heard the sound of shattering glass on the horizon amongst the towering pine trees!  We probably could have scurried on down the fairway out of sight, but instead we drove into the pine trees to find a woman standing on her expansive front entry under a shattered transom window holding up a white golf ball.  Some women have likened childbirth to pushing a piano through a transom, but the size of this transom would have made for an easy delivery!  She wasn’t at all upset but remarked that they had lived in the home for years and this was the first time anybody had ever hit the house!  My playing partner immediately produced the company’s insurance information and we hurried on to our next shot

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These life lessons reinforced the observation that you can never go wrong doing the right thing. That especially applies when something shatters your life and you need to step up to admit your role in a bad situation and work to fix it.   And God will work alongside us to bring good out of any bad situation. For example, our neighbor gave my baseball back to me and the woman gave back the golf ball!

COMING OF AGE

Oh Fudge, A Christmas Story

Many family Christmas traditions involve watching a timeless movie such as It’s a Wonderful Life, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation or A Christmas Story that loops endlessly during the holiday.  An episode of A Christmas Story triggered a long-ago memory of what I now recognize as one of those coming of age moments in life.  If you think about it, I bet just about everyone can look in the rear view mirror and remember a milestone time when life suddenly became more serious, as you unconsciously began the slow transition from unbridled youth to responsible adulthood.

I don’t particularly agree with a definition for coming of age that specifies an age and/or ceremony that automatically qualifies someone as an adult.  Some examples are a confirmation or bar mitzvah ceremony or reaching the age to enter the military or vote.  I agree that it’s a time when most teenagers mature emotionally.   Coming of age stories tend to focus on internal monologue over action and are often set in the past.  

The Christmas Story scene I was referencing involves the family outing to buy a real tree for the home.  For those of us that can go back that far, artificial Christmas trees weren’t an option and car tires were pretty fragile compared to the tires we ride on today.  It was snowing outside on the drive home when a rear tire lost air pressure forcing Ralphie’s father to pull over and begin changing it out.  Ralphie’s mother suggested that he was old enough to assist his father and was given the assignment to hold the lug nuts in the hub caps we no longer use.  Of course, he dropped them in the snow, but being asked to help his father marked the beginning of Ralphie’s coming of age.

I was around Ralphie’s age one very cold, windy and snowy night close to Christmas when my father exited the house to leave for his job as an engineer on the Santa Fe Railroad.  I had watched my father leave for work many times at all hours of the day, given that the railroad is a 24/7 operation.  For some reason on this night I went to the back door and peered through the frosted window to see that he had not left.  A frigid north wind swirled the heavy snow around our car in the driveway.  I asked my mother why my father would want to go to work on such a terrible night and she softly answered that he had to support our family so that we had a warm house and food on the table.  Up until that moment, I had always taken those things for granted.  She suggested that I bundle up and go outside to see if I could be helpful.  The wind chill went right through my body as I trudged through the gathering snow and asked if I could help my father put on the tire chains he was installing.  He handed me the jack handle he was using to elevate the rear tires.  At least we weren’t changing a tire so I could lose the lug nuts! 

My father then drove off to work into the intense winter storm and I walked back into the warmth of our modest home while coming of age.  My parents’ dream for me was to go to college and I ultimately received a Master’s Degree in Industrial Engineering and a professional career.  I’m certain that even though my work life had many challenges, they never compared to that winter’s night and the memory always sustained me through my own life storms to a peaceful silent night.