ROBO REVENGE

NEW MESSAGE WAITING, Jamestown, NC

Finally, it was good to hear that the major cell phone service providers are about to release programming that will stop the billions of unsolicited, harassing, irritating, automatic, robo calls that have plagued all of us for years!  I just happened to be sitting in the kitchen killing time while the oven was warming when another call number appeared on my TV screen.  I had seen this number so many times lately that I recognized it was a company trying to sell miracle knee braces to Medicare recipients so that the government would pay for them.  First of all, the government doesn’t pay for anything.  We taxpayers, even those of us on Medicare, pay for everything!  Second, I almost knew their pitch by heart since they had been trashing my answering machine for literally months.  And third, I’ve had both knee joints replaced after using worthless knee braces and I have no need for a freebee brace at my taxpayer expense.

So, since I’m retired and have time on my hands, I considered it was payback time!  I picked up the phone and heard the repetitive message that this was my final chance to dial “1” for assistance, dial “9” or “2” to be placed on their “Do not Call List”.  I have dialed both “9” and “2” on more than one occasion and I am still getting one last chance to buy these free worthless knee straps!  Obviously, this is just a ploy to register what times I’m available to answer the phone. 

But today was different and I dialed “1” for assistance.  Of course, I was placed on hold with the requisite elevator music.  Finally, after about ten minutes a female voice came on the line and asked “Who am I talking to?”  That was my cue!  Since I had time to rehearse my lines, I began in my best big man anchor voice, “This is your last chance.  If you would like to speak to a customer, please press “1”.  If you would like to be placed on our “Do not Answer List”, please press “2” or “9” and we will ignore your request.  You MUST make a choice or we’ll send somebody over to poison your dog!  (Actually, I didn’t say that but it would have been fun).  If you would like us to call and harass you for the rest of your life, please leave your name and phone number.”

And from the other end of the line somewhere in distant Haiti or India, I heard an exasperated voice say “Oh Good Grief” and she actually hung up on me!     Ah, sweet revenge.

EASTER PEOPLE

Buzzing Bee, Jamestown, NC

Welcome the first day of Spring! 🌸🌸🌸

The honey created by buzzing bees is symbolic of God’s favor to his children.🐝🐝🐝. The promised land was said to be flowing with milk and honey.  And the Lenten Rose is a harbinger of spring that ushers in the Lenten season of spiritual self-examination and hope! 

All creation is resurrected with new life at springtime as Easter People celebrate the sacrifice that secured their forgiveness and the promise that death was defeated, so that we may experience an eternal life on the other side in a beautiful forever.

DON’T LET THE OLD MAN IN

Working Out, High Point, NC

I was driving to the gym this morning with a country music station playing in the windmill of my mind when one of those “gotcha” songs permeated my foggy brain and I snapped to attention!  The relatable lyrics stayed on replay throughout my workout, so I walked back into the locker room and retrieved my iPhone and went back out to one of my regular machines.  A young woman had just finished nearby so I asked her for the favor of taking the accompanying photo.  I explained that I write a blog and was certain that I could work with a song I had just heard titled “Don’t let the old man in”.  Since she had just witnessed me sweating in the gym, I got a knowing smile and she graciously took the photo.

When I got home and googled the song title, I ran across the genesis of the lyrics.  It seems Toby Keith recently found inspiration from a casual conversation with Clint Eastwood on the golf course in California.  Keith asked the 88-year-old actor “What keeps you going?” and he replied “I get up every day and don’t let the old man in”.  After downloading the song on iTunes, the lyrics must ring true for all of us seniors playing in the last quarter of an average lifetime.  We have the choice of believing we’re a hostage of the unseen and uninvited but inevitable aging process, or we can work on being almost as young as always, understanding there are some very real health issues that can be a challenge.

 

Toby sings “can’t leave it up to him, he’s knocking on my door.  Ask yourself how old would you be if you didn’t know the day you were born?  When he rides up on his horse and you feel that cold winter wind, look out your window and smile.  Don’t let the old man in.”

Yeah, old age ain’t for sissies, but it’s a gift that’s denied to many.  So, “get up and go outside”!  Celebrate all the full moons that you’ve experienced on a cold winter’s night as calling wild geese fly by.  And “toast each sundown with wine.  Don’t let the old man in.”