Larry and Karen Wedding, 1968, Olathe, KS
APRIL 20, 1968-APRIL 20, 2008
My wife Karen and I
celebrated our forty-year anniversary three months before breast cancer took
her life as I held her hand. So, it was no small
coincidence that when I casually heard the lyrics to a new release of a Jason
Isbell track on my Google home device that my head snapped around and it had my
full attention. The title of the song is
If We Were Vampires which on first blush makes no sense whatsoever. But I downloaded the track from The Nashville
Sound and began to understand the lyrics.
The songwriter has known life, and the common destiny we all share, and
this song needs to be shared by every couple on the planet. Once I comprehended the lyrics, I understood
the title:
"If we were
vampires and death was a joke,
I wouldn’t feel the need
to hold your hand…
Maybe time running out
is a gift.
I'll give every second I
can find."
I’ve had previous conversations
with friends and couples about the elephant in the room when they come to
realize later in life that barring a tragic accident, one of the two of them
will some day be left to carry on without the other. That realization can take the sting out of
any petty offense or argument that is presently irritating them. Neither should ever go to bed angry. Of course, we’ve been given life to live to
the fullest and we should do just that.
And if the time comes when one is left to spend some time alone, we
should honor that bond and carry on, knowing that this life is only a finite
segment of our existence and death is simply a transition from time to eternity. And that spiritual existence is one spent in
the presence of our creator with our loved ones in that beautiful forever. Our time apart is relatively short in that
context and it's only paused for a season. Ironically, the refrain of the
song says it all:
"It's knowing that
this can't go on forever.
Likely one of us will
have to spend some days alone.
Maybe we'll get 40 years
together.
One day I'll be gone,
One day you'll be
gone."
Yes, in our marriage we should realize that one of us will likely have to spend some days alone. As a widow, it is not an easy road.
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