I normally head out on a Saturday morning for a mind cleansing drive after picking up a rejuvenating coffee. I lingered too late this morning and my first choices were slammed, but McDonald’s had recently installed a two-lane drive thru that looked reasonable. They still aren’t as efficient as Chick-fil-A, but it’s an improvement as I watched a driver in the other lane with their arm out the window pointing at the menu while giving instructions to the formless Oz wizard inside the audio speaker box.
As I waited behind a seemingly driverless Flying Dutchman
Toyota with a missing crew aboard, I did notice a small dog’s head randomly appearing
over the headrest on the passenger side.
This ghost vessel did haltingly move forward when the traffic alternated
between the two lanes toward the single-lane cashier and food delivery windows. However, there was always a full car length left
in front of the phantom land yacht.
Consequently, two consecutive vehicles from the other lane entered the
single merge lane while I was blocked from placing an order once I finally
crept up to the order station.
There can be only three plausible explanations for what I
observed this morning as I foraged for caffeine: 1) This car was equipped with the latest and
greatest in driverless technology that still had a few bugs to work out in drive
thru lanes or 2) The yippy little dog in the passenger side was actually
driving a European import and ordering a supersized McTreat or 3) A very short
human that actually moves among us was driving the Phantom Toyota and could not
comprehend the intuitive concept of a fast food drive thru.
We’re doomed.
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