LEAVING

Leaving

Some folks light up a room by entering, some by leaving.  We exit this world by dying, but we have the promise of entering a better existence.  And even whole galaxies eventually exit the universe as their stardust enters a new heavenly realm.  We buy life insurance by betting we’ll leave early, while the insurance companies gamble that we’ll pay premiums for many, many moons.  We ultimately leave most all of the places we enter as we meander through life, some forever and some we return to frequently. 

We leave childhood and enter the teenage years.  Then we leave our parents and enter young adulthood.  Many leave the single life, enter lifetime partnerships and then return again.  Some phases of life are strictly one-way paths, however.  And that’s OK, for once traveled, most of those paths are best left behind.  Joseph Campbell implores us to “follow your bliss and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be and wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.”

Bob Buford’s book Halftime is essentially about transitioning the second period of life from one of success to one of significance. Success is good in our first period of life as it lays the groundwork to freely achieve goals of significance. Life at this stage is no longer about money or the approval of others—it’s about finding your sacred dance as your character has matured and grown.

George Bernard Shaw famously noted, “There are two sources of unhappiness in life; one is not getting what you want; the other is getting it.” Entering the second period is about leaving your homey comfort zone and setting out once again to fulfill your ultimate destiny. It’s about leaving the pursuit of external happiness in favor of achieving internal joy in your life. 

LOOKING BACK IN A MIRROR DARKLY

LOOKING DARKLY, LOOKING BACK

Early attempts at creating a mirrored surface to view ourselves were dim reflections at best from surfaces such as polished metals.  Reflections of our lives can present such images as time has begun to erode the bright reflections of those memorable moments.  We can no longer touch or hold these precious events and it becomes as though we are viewing them through a glass darkly. 

As I approach another milestone in life, one that as a young man I never expected to attain, the voice inside my head has never aged.  My body has endured the trials and punishment of many years, but my spirit and soul have never tired or aged.  They are forever.  I no longer acknowledge such meaningless concepts as how many times I have circled the sun.  Only government entities like schools, the military, the DOT, Social Security and the IRS keep track of such things so they can regulate our lives.  Ask yourself, “How old would I be if I didn’t know how old the government records show that I am?”

 Kahlil Gibran observes that a river trembles with fear before entering the sea.  She looks back at the remembered path she has traveled from the mountains through the villages and forests.  And you can never cross the same river twice, for by then both the river and you have changed.  Neither she nor we can go back except in reflections.  But coming to the end of the journey is not about disappearing into the vastness of an ocean, but of becoming one with the vast expanse of the universe.  And only then will we know fully the mystery of our existence and see clearly the reflection of our lives.

When people say that I look good--for my age, I respond that “You should see how ageless my soul is today!”

 

SUNDAY GOLF HAIKU

A Day Late and a Dollar Short

Open yesterday,

When Saturday times were booked,

So, no Sunday church,

And the Devil won again,

 

THE RACE COURSE PARADOX

Greek Philosopher Zeno

The ancient Greek philosopher Zeno proposed a set of philosophical problems he called paradoxes. One of the most famous is the Race Course Paradox.  It was posited as follows:

“Suppose Atalanta wants to walk to the end of a path. Before she can get to the end, she must get half-way to the end. And before she can get to the end from the half-way point, she must first get half-way to the end from there. And so on, infinitely. According to this reasoning, Zeno said, it would be impossible for Atalanta to ever get to the end of the path. No matter how close she got to the end, she would still have to first go half-way.”

Democritus proposed that the universe was composed of tiny indivisible particles called atoms and reasoned that when Atalanta reached only one atom from the end of the path, the distance could no longer be divided in half so, the paradox was solved!  Although this solution was challenged, it remains relevant because it corresponds more to modern science than any such theory of the ancient world.

Since I’ve earned degrees in both mathematics and Industrial Engineering, I recognized the paradox from a different perspective.  It seems there was a young mathematician and a young engineer who were both vying for the hand of a beautiful maiden that couldn’t chose between them.  After much bickering, they solicited her father to settle the issue.  The father liked both of the suitors so, he proposed drawing a line in front of his young daughter and challenged the two of them with the Race Course Paradox. 

The mathematician immediately threw up his hands and announced that “I know of this paradox and I give up as it cannot be resolved!”  The engineer thought about it for a few minutes and began walking towards his future wife.  When the other young man questioned his strategy, the engineer announced that “I may not get to the very end, but I’ll get close enough for all practical purposes.”

The young woman’s father welcomed him into the family!

P.S.

I’ve learned over the years that it takes significantly more energy, cost and effort to attempt perfection when good enough will do quite nicely, thank you.

 

THE BOILING FROG METAPHOR

Frog Contemplating Boiling Water

The story of the boiling frog is often used as a metaphor to illustrate human beings’ inability to gradually be aware of threats or changes around them until it is too late to do anything about it.  A metaphor is a figure of speech that describes an action that isn’t literally true, but helps explain an idea or make a comparison.

Daniel Quinn, writing in The Story of B, describes the boiling frog metaphor:

“If you drop a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will of course frantically try to clamber out. But if you place it gently in a pot of tepid water and turn the heat on low, it will float there quite placidly. As the water gradually heats up, the frog will sink into a tranquil stupor, exactly like one of us in a hot bath, and before long, with a smile on its face, it will unresistingly allow itself to be boiled to death.”

This metaphor nicely illustrates many actual examples that we should be paying more attention to before it’s too late, even though scientific studies debunk this actually happens to a frog.  A frog dumped into boiling water will immediately die, while one introduced to increasing heat will bail out once it gets uncomfortable.  But properly introduced, it can be used like the metaphor of the ostrich sticking its head in the sand to illustrate how some folks simply don’t want to know about impending doom.

 Many political speeches use the metaphor to arouse fear in the populace to get their attention to a real or bogus threat for political gain.  One real example I read about is the gradual increase in prosperity and excess for a culture that can ultimately destroy itself from within if not acknowledged and acted upon.  This can happen in any organization that placidly accepts a gradual change that could ultimately destroy their very existence unless they identify and act to counter the threat.  The last remaining Blockbuster store has now closed while Amazon has shifted consumer sales from brick-and-morter stores to on-line shopping.  There are myriad examples of how technological advances and cultural shifts eliminated once thriving enterprises almost overnight.  Resistance to change and/or the naïve failure to acknowledge the threat was their undoing.

And finally, we need to possess the common sense to distinguish which of the changes creeping into our lives need to be identified and either challenged or embraced!  Learning from the metaphors of frogs and ostriches can enlighten us.

MILESTONE CHOICES

Introspection 

Two Roads Diverging

 The Road Not Taken,   By Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

I think the reason this famous poem resonates with millions of people is because every choice we make in life shapes the path we walk and eventually where we finally end up.  Cornell University researchers have estimated (It’s beyond me how they did this or who can dispute it) that the average adult makes about 35,000 conscious decisions every waking day!  And decisions have consequences.  It’s been noted that if an executive makes optimum decisions at least 50% of the time, he’s doing a commendable job.

 It would be futile to even attempt to document all of these choices, but I believe it would be interesting to recall those milestone choices through some introspection such as:

·        Choosing the activities and the children you played with for hours on end.

·         Choosing the profession or college major you found interesting.

·         Choosing your major employers and all the work friends you met.

·         Choosing the adult activities you like to enjoy participating in and watching.

·         Choosing a life partner as a soulmate.

·         Choosing to raise a child.

·         Choosing to commit to an extended mortgage and buy a home together.

·         Choosing church families, organizations and lifelong friends along the way.

·         Choosing books to read, television to watch, politics to support, etc.

·         Choosing ideals to support and make the world a better place.

How we remember our choices shapes us today.  Frost remembers taking the road less traveled with a sigh.  When we chose a particular path, we don’t have any certainty that taking the alternative may have been the better choice.  Ultimately, all of the 35,000 choices we make daily, both mundane and monumental, shape our character based on how we respond.  The end game is to live life so that we can simply look back and smile.  

And that will make all the difference!